I miss them.
I miss them so much I wish they would message me. I miss them because I know it would ease my pain if I reached out but I know they're not good for me. I know I shouldn't care but why do I want them so much it hurts...
You are giving this person WAY too much power.
It's important to try and recognise the line between unconditional love and infatuation.
Infatuation is to be in love with the possibilities and the idea of having someone like them. A mental image we paint of the person that we end up revering and admiring with all our hearts. When that expectation or image is not met we turn to anger, hate, sorrow...whatever your emotional cocktail has to offer.
To love someone, at its very essence means that with or without you in the picture you genuinely want that person to prosper and be happy. Can you call what you have for them love if it's only okay if it's with you? Could you let them go, let them walk out of your life if you knew you'd both be the happier for it?
The thing with breakups is that you’ve come back to a position that you were in before, and that is loneliness. You yearn for them because they are the last person who made you feel less alone. Deep down, it’s not really about them as a person but the space that’s left now. In the thick of the pain you can’t see it clearly, but once the worst of it has passed (and it will, i promise) you will see how much better off you are without them bringing you down. This is the conflict you’re in, they hurts you but make you feel less lonely.
Show yourself love and compassion. I am definitely beating the dead horse with that line but it really is something most people can use practice on (myself very much included) Go out and live your life. Get yourself a journal and write your heart out, find an exercise you love and get your endorphins raging.
Reach out to some people you haven’t talked to in a while. Pick up a new hobby. Find some new songs that you resonate with. What you need is connection and that can come in many forms.
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